Suffocating
by Spaghetti's Dreams
Summary: Danny found himself feeling more alone than he ever had in his life. He was surrounded by everyone who loved him but when he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. His laughs weren't sincere. Everything felt forced. He felt like he was suffocating and there was nothing he could do about it.
1. Chapter 1

Danny had never been one to openly discuss his feelings. He never shied away from expressing his opinion, but he kept his feelings inside, not wanting to burden others when they had their own battles. Somebody wanted him dead, he had a target painted on his back and he had no idea what to do about it. He could not recall the name of the person who had shot him, back in quarantine. He was sure he'd never seen that guy before in his life. A slight knocking on his office door brought Danny out of his thoughts and he looked up from his computer to see Steve watching him, worry etched across his face and a bag of malasadas in his hand. Steve just watched Danny, not saying a word. "Is there something I can help you with, Steven?" Danny questioned. Steve strode into his office and sat down on the sofa. "I brought malasadas" he said, shaking the bag, as a way of beckoning Danny to sit with him. Danny was about to argue that he wasn't hungry, when his stomach growled loudly. Sighing, he pushed back from his desk and sat next to Steve on the sofa, grabbing a malasada as he did so. Neither man said anything as they both sat, eating their sugary treat. "Are you…" "I'm fine, Steven" Steve was abruptly cut off by Danny's sudden interjection, causing an awkward silence to fall between the two. "They told me your heart stopped on the operating table" Steve blurted out, watching Danny, who sighed. "Yeah…" Once again, an uneasy silence fell between the two. Danny was about to speak again, to tell Steve he didn't need to worry when his phone started ringing. Pulling out his phone, he frowned at the number and showed it to Steve, who shrugged, just as confused and sceptical as Danny. "Detective Williams" Danny answered, putting the phone on speaker as he did. "Danny! I heard everything that happened, are you alright brah?!" Kono. Adam must've told her what went down. Which also meant Chin did too. "Yeah, I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me" Danny rolled his eyes. He was fed up of people asking if he was okay. "He says he's fine, but I don't think he is" Danny scowled at Steve, who was once again, looking at Danny with concern. "Well, whether you are fine or not, me and Chin are on our way back to Hawaii. Nobody hurts our ohana and gets away with it" "Thanks guys, but you really don't have to do that. Honestly, I'm fine" He tried to sound confident in his answer, but he wasn't fine. He was far from fine, but they didn't need to know that. "Well, we already told our auntie we were coming so whether you are fine or not, we are still coming" Chin spoke, authority in his voice. The sound of a boarding call could be heard in the background. "That's us so we'll see you guys later!" but before Danny or Steve could say another word, the line went dead. Danny looked at Steve, who shrugged and put his hands in the air. "I didn't know they were coming either" he said, knowing that Danny was going to blame him for the cousins' sudden visit. "Okay" He whispered, he had no energy left in him to argue with the brunette. He was tired. His insomnia had gotten worse since that day, 7 weeks ago. He paced around the house, constantly checking on Charlie and Grace to make sure they were safe. Steve once again, looked at his friend, concerned. He wished for nothing more than for Danny to rant at him, arms flailing everywhere. He missed his friend. Ever since he was cleared to go out into the field, he barely spoke. They'd not made much progress on the restaurant lately, as Danny went home, straight from the office, at the end of the day. The days they did paperwork, he spent alone in his office with the blinds shut, barely uttering a word to him, Lou, Tani or Junior, their newest recruit. Eric had come to speak to Steve a couple of times, expressing his concern about his uncle D. Steve had, had enough. He knew that Danny didn't have Charlie and Grace tonight, what with them both being at their friend's houses. They'd just finished wrapping up a case about the murder of a 32-year-old man, who had accidentally stumbled across evidence that could bring down an entire drug cartel. The case was straight forward, and Steve had already sent Tani, Junior and Lou home for the weekend, leaving Steve and Danny in the office to finish off their paperwork. Glancing at his watch, Steve noticed that it was nearly 8pm, which was early, for the members of Five-O. "Come on Danny, let's go home" Steve sighed, standing up, watching Danny. "Huh?" Danny questioned, he had been staring off into the distance and completely missed what Steve had said. "Home, Danny. You need to rest" "Yeah, alright…" Both men walked out of the office, towards the Camaro. Danny had once again, picked Steve up for work. Danny walked over to the passenger side and got in without an argument. Steve started to become even more concerned about his partner, who normally ranted about Steve driving his car. Pushing his worry aside, he got into the car and drove to his house, where Steve and Danny bid each other goodbye, and Danny drove home, alone, in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve stepped out onto his lanai, Longboard in hand and sank into his chair. Checking his phone once again, he frowned. Danny normally sent him a message, to let him know he had gotten home safely, as per Steve's request. There was still someone out there, who wanted Danny dead. He checked the time, Danny should've gotten home nearly an hour ago. Scrolling through his contacts, he reached Danny's contact and called him. "You've reached Detective Danny Williams, please leave a message" Danny's phone went straight to voicemail. Steve called several times and left several messages, all of which went unanswered. Steve looked at his untouched beer, and walked into the kitchen, placing it on the side. His concern for Danny escalated massively. He always had his phone on in case Grace or Charlie needed him. Jumping into the Silverado, he raced over to Danny's house. He let out a small sigh of relief when he saw the Camaro parked in the drive. At least he knew Danny got home, and hadn't crashed somewhere. Jumping out of his truck, he slammed the door behind him and knocked hastily on the door. No answer. He knocked again, and waited. But still no one answered. He frowned again, and reached into the many pockets of cargo pants and found Danny's key. They had given each other a spare key to each other's house, for emergencies, Steve had already declared this as an emergency. Unlocking the door, he searched for Danny, knocking on all the doors in the house and calling his name. He reached his bedroom door and knocked, when he heard a muffled whisper of his name, and then Grace, and then Charlie. Steve crept into the room, to find Danny in the throws of a nightmare. The curtains were closed, and the covers were strewn half on the bed and half on the floor. "Danny?" Steve whispered, moving over to his friend, who was sweating profusely. Steve sat down on the bed, next to his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder, again whispering his name. Danny still did not wake him, as Steve began to shake him a little. He knew he probably shouldn't do this, but he needed his friend to wake up. "Danny!" he shouted, causing Danny to startle awake with a gasp and swing his arm out, which Steve narrowly missed, his fist nearly hitting the wall. "Steve?" Danny gasped, his voice hoarse as unshed tears threated to stream down his face. Steve had never seen Danny like this. He looked…broken. Steve instantly pulled Danny in for a hug. The sudden movement, shocked both men, and both remained startled and stiff before Steve relaxed and started rubbing circles on his partners back. It was no secret that both men cared deeply about each other, and there were many jokes about them being married but right now, all Steve wanted to do was hold Danny close and protect him. Danny relaxed after a few seconds into Steve's hold, his head buried into Steve's shoulders. "Sorry" Danny's muffled voice, broke the silence as he tried to pull away, but was stopped by Steve who held tightly onto his friend. Danny sighed, beginning to feel tired again. The weeks without sleep were finally starting to catch up with him. "Go to sleep Danno" Steve's normally harsh and booming voice, was a soft whisper as he shifted him and Danny into a more comfortable position. Both were laying almost upright on the bed, with Danny buried into Steve's shoulder. Neither man cared at this point. Danny's breathing began to even out, from the erratic pants of his previous nightmare and Steve knew that he had fallen asleep. He attempted to shift himself out from underneath Danny, however was stopped as Danny unconsciously grasped onto his shirt. Sighing, he realised that he wasn't going anywhere at all. Shifting slightly, he managed to pull the cover up, covering both himself and Danny before he too fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Danny woke up to find that his pillow was moving, and breathing. Confused, he looked up to see Steve's hazel brown eyes staring back into his crystal blue ones. "Hey Danno" Steve whispered. "Umm…hi" Danny spoke. He was surprisingly comfortable. They had shifted in the night; Danny's head was now buried into Steve's chest with his arm lying protectively over him. Steve's arm was wrapped tight around Danny, with the other rubbing up and down on his arm. "I guess we should uh…talk about this then" Danny spoke, neither beginning to move. Danny felt safe wrapped in Steve's embrace. "Yeah…" Steve said. He knew they were due a rather awkward conversation. Steve's stomach suddenly growled loudly, making both Steve and Danny jump, both let out a small laugh. "I'll…uh…go make us some coffee and breakfast" Danny announced, practically diving out of the bedroom and Steve almost whimpered at the loss of contact. His feelings for Danny were confusing. Danny was like a brother to him and yet watching him with Melissa, almost made him jealous of what they had. He always put it down to missing Catherine, but this last night had taught him that it was something more than that. Confused, he smoothed out his top and his sweatpants, which he had changed into upon arriving home last night. He walked out of the bedroom, and shut the door behind him and went into the kitchen, where he found Danny pouring coffee into cups as the toaster popped up. Neither said anything, once more, as Danny passed him the coffee and their fingers brushed against one another, sending a shiver down both of their backs. Danny suddenly turned his back to Steve and put the toast on some plates, grabbing several spreads as he did so. He walked over to the table with the breakfast stuff, and placing it down. Due to Five-O having no cases, they had a rare weekend off. After breakfast, they both settled onto the sofa, watching last night's game as they did so. Neither was concentrating on the game, they were both too wrapped up in thinking about last nights events. "I broke up with Melissa" Steve jumped, and turned to face Danny, who was looking down. "When?" He asked, softly. "After I was shot…she said she couldn't deal with all the worry anymore and we decided to call it quits. It had been building up for a while I guess. She said we should remain friends but, when has that ever worked out?" He chuckled, quietly. The humour lost in his words. "I'm sorry, Danny. Why didn't you say anything?" Steve asked. "Didn't seem important I guess" Danny's voice was now almost a whisper. "Danny, if it involves you, it is important" Steve spoke, grabbing Danny's hands. Danny looked up at Steve, slightly startled and realised just how close they were sitting, their faces almost touching. "Danno" Steve's voice was practically non-existent as he leant forward and pressed his lips against Danny's, who remained almost shell shocked. Steve suddenly pulled back and almost darted off the sofa. "Oh shit, oh shit" He whispered, as he made a start towards the door, grabbing his shoes in the process. He needed to get away from the whole situation as soon as possible, he'd made a mistake. "Steve" Steve was suddenly brought out of his thoughts as he turned, to find Danny striding towards him. Grabbing the back of his neck, Danny pulled Steve down into a kiss and they both relaxed. Suddenly, both Steve and Danny's phone began ringing, in procession to one another. Both ignored the ringing as their heated kiss carried on, as they began moving towards the sofa. Danny's landline started ringing as they fell onto the sofa, still locked in one another's embrace. The phone soon went to answer phone when Kono's voice started after the beep. "Hey Danny, Steve isn't answering either of his phones and apparently neither are you, but we are down at Kamekona's whenever you want to make your appearance" She giggled, she probably knew what was happening, knowing her. The answering machine suddenly beeped off and Steve smiled against Danny's lips. "We should head down there before they start hammering down the door" Danny chuckled against Steve's shoulder as they pulled away from one another. "We should probably change first" Steve said, noting that both were still in their nightwear. Steve moved off the sofa, helping Danny up as he did so. Steve went out to his truck and grabbed the spare clothes he always kept in the back of his truck, in case he was stuck at the office all night and went back into the house, going into the bathroom as he did so. Both agreed that they'd take different routes to Kamekona's and hopefully arrive at different times to get rid of any suspicion as to what had happened between the pair that morning. Steve arrived first, 10 minutes before Danny, who made up an excuse about being at Melissa's last night. Only Steve knew that he was lying. After they had all hugged, they fell into a comfortable conversation, with Danny telling the gang about all the stuff Charlie and Grace had been up to, all the plans for the restaurant and what cases Five-O had been tackling these past few weeks. None of them spoke about the threat to Danny's life.


	4. Chapter 4

Several more weeks had passed since that morning, and although Danny and Steve were happy with each other, even with their relationship being unexpectedly outed to the new and old members of Five-O by a very excited Charlie, Danny had started to feel down. There had been no knew evidence as to who or why someone wanted him dead, and the trails had all grown cold, which was irritating him. But his feelings were more than that. He had little energy to do anything even more, and even getting out of bed on days where they had no cases had become a chore. Kono and Chin had bounced back and forth between their new jobs and Hawaii, visiting regularly, instead of the occasional phone call. He pushed these feelings down, and ignored all the negative thoughts in his head. He was doing fine until the day they received a new lead in the disappearance of a 27-year-old woman. She had a daughter, who was 6. She had been put up for adoption and had been declared missing as well, days after her mother had. Cases with children involved always affected Danny badly, he had two kids himself. By the time they had discovered that the woman's ex-boyfriend, and the father of the child, the mother's body had been discovered. She had been stabbed and bled out, alone and scared. When they discovered her body, they found evidence that pointed to where the young girl was being kept. Danny, Steve, Tani, Lou and Junior had raced over to the location, however they were too late. They found the young girl bleeding from a very similar stab wound as Danny desperately tried to stop the bleeding. They had been too late, and the girl died in Danny's arms. He was covered in her blood and there was nothing he could do about it. A loud bang alerted Five-O that the boyfriend was nearby, Danny didn't move, he stayed, holding her in his arms as the other members of the time, hunted the man down. He didn't even flinch as the sound of a gunshot broke through the air. He had known that Steve had shot him. He didn't even care if he was dead or not. He had killed this young girl, because he couldn't have her for his own. Just like her mother.

"Danny?" Steve's voice broke through the silence of his office, causing Danny to jump in his seat, on Steve's sofa. He opened his eyes to find Steve knelt in front of him. He assured him he was fine, and that he just needed to rest but Steve didn't buy it. He knew how much a death of a child affected Danny. Putting his arm around him, Steve escorted Danny out of the office and into the Camaro. He drove to his house, and they both walked silently inside. Rachel had taken Charlie and Grace to England to visit her parents for the week, so Danny had been staying with Steve. They both sat on the lanai, drinking their beer, in silence. No words needed to be said, they both knew how the other felt and how to comfort one another through this time. When Steve had decided they should go to bed, Danny just nodded and climbed in beside him. He closed his eyes and attempted to sleep, but he could not shift the image of the young girl from his mind. He lay awake from most of the night, blankly staring at the ceiling, as Steve curled into him. He shifted, moving so they were curled into one another, and fell asleep, dreaming about the events of that day.


	5. Chapter 5

He held the sharp metal blade against his wrist and closed his eyes. He knew the power that this small piece of metal held. If he pressed it further into his wrist, everything could be over soon. If he accidentally shifted too suddenly, it could all be over. He never knew how powerful something so small could be, until Grace came into his world. As soon as he held her in his arms, he knew that nothing would be too immoral, when it came to protecting this tiny human being he held in his arms. Sighing, he placed the blade on the side of the bath, watching it, as if it was to move and attack him. His phone began ringing and he glanced at the caller ID and sighed, it was Steve. He let it go to voicemail, when his phone pinged with a message. He looked at the screen " _We've got a case, can you pick me up, babe?"_ Sighing, Danny placed the blade back into it's protective cover and moved of the bathroom and into the darkness of his bedroom to change for work.

The next few days went by in a blur and Danny found himself feeling more alone than he ever had in his life. He was surrounded by everyone who loved him but when he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. His laughs weren't sincere. Everything felt forced. He felt like he was suffocating. Eating was a chore and he found himself staring off into nothing a lot. These feelings only got worse when a suspect had injured both Steve and Tani when he failed to notice them pull out a gun. Their injuries weren't severe, Steve had a flesh wound on his arm where the suspect had shot at him and Tani had a gash on her arm from tackling the man to the ground. Danny had felt guilty and both Steve and Tani had said he had nothing to feel guilty for, yet he couldn't shift the feeling that the team would be better off without him. When Steve's wound had got infected, he knew that none of this would've happened if he was paying more attention. It wouldn't have happened if he wasn't a part of the team. With this thought going through his head, he pulled out his laptop and began writing his letter of resignation. He stopped, tears threatening to stream down his face as he wrote a separate letter, for Steve, telling him he loved him, but he couldn't do this anymore. He put both letters in envelopes and drove towards the Palace, dropping Grace and Charlie off with Rachel, telling her and them that he had to go undercover for a case, which he didn't. His heart broke even more when both Charlie and Grace had said "Love you Danno" and hugged him goodbye. "Be safe, Daniel" Rachel had said to him, pecking his cheek as she shut the door behind him. He walked into the Palace, noting that they had all gone home for the day, and placed the letters on Steve's desk, as tears streamed down his face. As he exited the offices, he looked back, and a small smile graced his face. He remembered all the happy times they had had in that space, where is family had grown. He also remembered all the sad times and tense moments that had happened in that space, as he wiped his eyes and climbed back into the Camaro. His phone began to ring, and he noticed that it was Steve, calling for the 17th time. He let out another choked sob, and almost started to regret his decision to leave, but he knew he had to do this. He knew Steve would track his phone, so he climbed back out of the Camaro and left it on the Palace steps. It was also 2am by the time he pulled out of the car park, and he just drove. He drove for almost 3 hours before he spotted a motel. Pulling up, he grabbed his wallet and asked for a room in the dingy place. Walking into his room, climbed into the bed and sobbed until he fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve walked into the office that morning, followed by the rest of the team, including Kono and Chin but not Danny. Steve was really worried about Danny, and had even issued a BOLO for him. They believed that the person who was trying to kill him, had taken Danny and his theory was only more backed up when he found Danny's phone on the steps of the Palace. He walked into his office and sat at his desk, rubbing his hands through his hair when he noticed two envelopes addressed to him on his desk. Curious, he opened one and found a letter from Danny:

 _Steve,_

 _I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I love you so much and I just want you to be happy. I can't stay here anymore, it isn't working out for me. I don't want to leave but I must, I can't drag you down with me. I've left my resignation letter from Five-O on the desk._

 _All my love,_

 _Danno_

Steve sobbed as he read Danny's short letter. He didn't know how much his partner, in many senses of the word, was suffering. Opening the second letter, he found his official resignation from the Five-O task force. He stared at the letter, when the door to his office opening brought him out of his thoughts. He looked up to find the team watching him. He said nothing, and instead passed both letters to the shocked members of the team. None of them spoke, simply stared at the letter as tears were shed for their missing friend. "We need to find him. Track the Camaro" Steve's words broke the silence, that had fell across the offices. Most of the team left, leaving Steve and Chin behind in his office. He moved over to Steve and put his hand on his shoulder. "We will find him brah, don't worry" "But what if it's too late, Chin? He could be anywhere right now, he could be in any state, he could be…" Steve stopped, not wanting to utter those words. He shook his head and closed his eyes, before opening them again and pushing his chair back. Sitting in his office wasn't going to help find Danny. Both men strode out of the room and back to where Kono and Tani were standing. "What have we got?" He asked, watching as surveillance footage of the Camaro showed Danny driving down the road. "We've managed to get a location on his car. It's a motel in Waikiki" Steve didn't need to hear anything else. He just knew he needed to get to Danny. Grabbing their gear, they all left the office.


	7. Chapter 7

As they neared the location of the motel, Steve informed the team that he was going in alone, leaving the rest of them to anxiously wait around the corner, for their leader to get back to them. Steve rushed into the hotel, flashed his badge at the receptionist and demanded to know what room Danny Williams was in. The flustered receptionist rushed to look through the logs and found someone had checked in using the name "Williams" Steve knew that this must be Danny. Thanking the receptionist, he dashed towards the room and composed himself, before gently knocking on the door.

Danny heard the gentle knocking on the door, from the bathroom, he looked down at the full bottle of whisky and the full bottle of pills, which sat next to his gun. His hair was dishevelled, and tears streamed down his face. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't go on pretending like he was alright when he really wasn't. He just wanted it all to be over. He assumed the knocking must be from one of the cleaning staff and ignored it, hoping they would go away. The knocking continued, growing more and more louder and faster. He didn't care. He simply picked up the bottle of pills and removed the cap, considering the contents. He'd gotten the painkillers after he'd been shot, but never took them. They left him drowsy and incoherent. He poured several pills into his head and went to grab the whisky when the door to his room suddenly burst open. Danny jumped and grabbed his gun, aiming it at the door to the bathroom, from his space on the bathroom floor. The bathroom door was suddenly flung open and Danny nearly pulled the trigger, when he saw Steve running at him, dropping the gun, he lowered his head and sobbed as Steve gently removed the bottle and the pills from his hands and pulled him into a hug. Steve held Danny as he cried and rubbed his hand through his hair. Danny had nearly done it, he nearly ended it all. Steve pulled away from Danny when he heard the team asking if he'd found him, from his earpiece. "Yeah" he heard movement on the other side of the comms. "Don't" He simply said and the comms went silent, followed by the sound of car doors shutting again. "Here if you need us" Kono said, before the comms went silent once more. Steve pulled Danny up from the floor and walked him into the bedroom, sitting him down and kneeling in front of him once more. "Danny? Please talk to me" Steve almost pleaded with him, Danny hadn't said anything when he'd arrived almost 15 minutes ago. He was scared for his partner, he nearly ended it all, alone and scared. "I can't do this anymore Steve. I'm so fucking tired" His voice was a whisper, and Steve's heart shattered as he stood and pulled him into another hug. "We're going to help you, alright? It's going to be okay Danno" Steve said, holding his partner closer. He'd never seen anyone so strong, shatter in this way before. They stayed in this position for almost an hour, before Steve felt Danny pull away from him. "Thanks" he mumbled, still shocked from the events of the day. He knew he would've regretted it immediately, if he'd taken those pills. He couldn't do that to his kids, if he'd succeeded, they would be left without a father in their lives. They'd already been through so much, Grace was heartbroken when Matty had died. _He didn't die, he was murdered_. The words rattled him, these thoughts had kept him awake for countless nights. "…to Grace and Charlie" Danny was brought out of his thoughts by the names of his kids. He was confused, he completely zoned out and had no idea what Steve had said. "Danny, did you hear what I said?" Steve asked, shaking his arm a little. "Oh…uh…what was that?" he asked. "I said, let's go home, to Grace and Charlie" He spoke, softly, beginning to stand when Danny pulled on his hand. "Do you mind if we don't see Grace and Charlie today? I just want to go home" he sighed, his eyes filling with tears once more. "Sure Danno, whatever you need" Steve kissed him on his forehead and they left the room, Danny holding onto Steve's arm, as the exhaustion crept up on him once more. Walking over to the Camaro, Steve helped Danny in and within seconds of climbing in, he had fallen asleep. Steve buckled Danny in and clicked his comm on again. "I've got Danny in the Camaro, I need someone to clean up the room he was in and someone to drive my truck back to the Palace. I'm taking Danny straight home" He glanced back at Danny, who was snoring quietly. "I'll take the truck to your house, Sir" Junior's voice came through the comms as he walked towards Steve, who shut the door and met him halfway, silently passing him the keys to the truck with a nod. "We'll sort the room brah, just take care of Danny" Chin spoke, with agreements from Tani, Kono and Lou coming through. "Thanks guys" He sighed, and climbed into the Camaro and peeled out of the car park.


	8. Chapter 8

Danny didn't stir at all on the way back to Steve's house. He'd already messaged Rachel and asked her to look after Charlie and Grace for the week and she had happily agreed. Steve had gone along with Danny's lie, that he was going undercover for a case. He didn't like lying to her, but he knew he had to. Steve managed to get Danny into the house, without waking him, as he placed him gently into his bed. He peeled off his jeans and changed him into some sweatpants and a top, changing himself and climbing into bed next to him. It was only 7pm but he needed to stay close to Danny. He moved closer to Danny, who shifted in his sleep, so his head was rested once again, on his chest. They often found themselves asleep like this, and Steve was fine with it. They both needed the contact to keep the nightmares at bay. Steve put his arm around Danny and pulled him tight, not wanting to lose him. He knew they needed to talk about the events of the day, but that could wait. Right now, Steve had Danny and he was safe.

Danny woke up when Steve began to move out from underneath him. "Don't. You. Dare. Move." He muttered, grabbing Steve's shirt harder. He was comfortable, and he wasn't about to let his pillow move away from him. Steve sighed, looking at the clock, it was nearly 11am, the next day and he didn't think Danny would be waking any time soon, so he was going to make some coffee for himself. When Steve stopped moving, Danny sighed, happily. "You know we need to talk about yesterday" Steve said, causing Danny to bury his face further into his shoulder. "I don't really want to" Danny's words were muffled by Steve's shirt. "If you don't want to talk to me about it, that's fine. I know a great therapist you could talk to" Steve said, teasing slightly. He knew Danny hated therapists and his words earned him a gentle slap on the chest. Danny moved again, and Steve sat up in the bed, Danny was now tucked under Steve's chin and into his neck. Danny sighed again, and told Steve everything. He told him how it started after he was shot in the hospital and how he feared they'd go after his kids. He told him about his fears of being with Steve, no matter how much he loved him. He told him about how breaking up with Melissa, devastated him. He told him about the times he had climbed into a bottle when he was alone. He told him about the times before when he had held the blade of a knife to his wrist and put it down, deciding against it. He told him about when he slept alone, he was plagued by nightmares and how his decision to resign and go, was because of the girl's death. He felt like he had failed, not only as an officer of the law, but as a father. The whole thing had brought back memories of when Rick Peterson, took Grace and he couldn't live with the guilt anymore. He told him how he feared his daughter growing up, because it meant she wasn't his little girl anymore. He told him about the hallucinations he experienced when he was shot and how no matter how much he wanted all that, he couldn't deal with his life anymore. He told Steve how much he loved him, and how grateful he was that he was in his life. Steve said nothing, simply held him as he sobbed, rubbed circles on his back and kissed his head. Danny's tears eventually stopped falling and Steve looked down and realised that he had fallen asleep. He had been talking for almost 3 hours. Steve tried to cry himself, he had to be strong for Danny. He'd need him more than ever over this next few weeks, and Steve would be there for him.


	9. Chapter 9

When Danny awoke the next morning, he felt like a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Telling Steve everything had really helped him, he knew that not everything would get better overnight, but just having someone he loved and trusted to talk to, made him feel better. He had tried therapy when his claustrophobia and anxiety had been really bothering him, and he found it really didn't help him at all. Talking to a stranger, who didn't care about him, hadn't made him feel better at all. Opening his eye, he noticed that Steve was no longer in the room. Frowning, he untangled himself from the sheets and padded downstairs to find Steve, cooking, wearing Danny's chef hat. It occurred to him that Steve didn't notice his presence and he leant against the wall, and watched as Steve hummed along to the radio, shaking his hips as he did so. Steve turned to serve up and nearly smashed the plates when he found Danny watching him with an amused smile. He didn't even notice he was up. Danny laughed, and Steve found it glorious. It wasn't a fake laugh, it was a real, genuine laugh that reached his eyes. Setting the plates down, Steve moved over to Danny and wrapped him in a hug, kissing him gently before gazing into his baby blue eyes. Danny smiled at him and Steve loved how Danny looked when he smiled. It wasn't a polite smile, it was a goofy, in love, smile that was only for Steve. The sound of sizzling brought the two out of their embrace as Steve rushed over to save the chicken before it burnt. As he plated the food, Danny sat at the table. It had been a long time since he had sat down and ate a proper meal. He thanked Steve, when he placed the food in front of him. It smelt amazing and Danny didn't realise how hungry he was until his stomach growled at the divine food in front of him. After finishing their meal, which Danny nearly ate all up, Danny looked at Steve and said "So, you a fan of Katy Perry then, Steven?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows about the performance Danny had watched before Steve knew he was awake. Steve mentally hit himself in the face, Danny would tease him about that for a long time to come and he was alright with that. Danny was still here, with him and he would support him for the rest of their lives.

6 months ago, Steve didn't think he'd be standing here, watching Danny chase Charlie around the house, trying to tickle him. He thought he'd lost Danny, but he hadn't. The whole thing had brought them closer than ever before. Steve knew Danny was still healing, but the nightmares had gone and so had the guilt. The threat to his life was still out there, they still hadn't found any more leads. But right now, Danny was just happy to be here with his family.


End file.
